COUPLES THERAPY

Couples therapy is an area of counselling that is increasingly in demand.

If you are in a relationship, and are experiencing difficulties, then it might be time to seek professional help.

Help is available via a number of professional services.  Couples Therapy, Relationship Counselling, and Marriage Counselling are all terms given to this particular area of therapy.

Couples therapy, like any other form of therapy, should be delivered by an experienced professional.

The success of couples therapy or indeed any relationship counselling, is dependent on a number of things.  The most obvious factor in this case is a willingness from both parties, to want to participate in couples therapy.

A close second in the success of relationship counselling, is how soon intervention is sought.  Unfortunately couples therapy, along with traditional marriage counselling, can sometimes be viewed negatively, and thought not to be terribly effective.

This however, could not be further from the truth.  Often, people leave it very late in the decline of a relationship, before seeking the help of couples therapy.  By the time intervention is actually taking place, one or both concerned parties have already decided to call time on the relationship.

In fact, statistics prove that couples therapy and marriage counselling are wholly effective, both saving, and strengthening many relationships.

Various approaches can be used in couples therapy and relationship counselling.  These various approaches will nearly always adopt the five aspects for effective couples therapy.

FIVE ASPECTS                                                   

The five aspects associated with effective relationship counselling, marriage counselling and couples therapy:

Aspect 1. Couples become dispassionate.

During the whole couples therapy process, the counsellor will help both parties look at their relationship, in a calm dispassionate way.

The couple will be encouraged to look at their partner’s experience of what is happening.  Many couples benefit from knowing that some of their problems are born from a certain context associated with the relationship.  An example of this could be a couple encountering stress, due to financial worries.

The couples therapy counsellor, will study how the couple interact with each other, and speculate as to what casual elements are involved in how the couple interact.  The couples therapy counsellor will focus on both parties having a new understanding about their relationship and each other’s part in it.

Aspect 2. The couples therapy counsellor carries out an ‘at risk assessment’.

The couples therapy counsellor, will need to ensure that the couple are not actively engaging in any behaviour that could cause each other any harm (physical, mental, or financial).

An ‘at risk assessment’ by the couples therapy counsellor will be carried out and acted upon.  This means that recommendations would be made (if necessary) for one or both of the couple to be referred to an appropriate unit or treatment programme.  Examples could include; a shelter for domestic abuse, an alcohol and drug clinic or an anger management course.

A period of living apart could also be a consideration.  This is to ensure that adequate time is given for behavioural changes to take place.

Aspect 3. Couples encouraged to share thoughts and feelings with each other.

Couples can become emotionally, very distant, especially if expression of feelings are not shared between each other.

The couples therapy counsellor will help both parties share their thoughts and feelings towards each other.

There are many reasons that people can experience difficulties, when trying to show their feelings towards a partner.  Some people fear rejection because of underlying emotional attachment issues.  Other people may be reacting to a past relationship where their expression of feelings was not reciprocated or reinforced.

A couples therapy counsellor will encourage true thoughts and feelings to be shared between the couple, reducing that emotional distance and bringing them closer together.

Aspect 4.  Better communication

Couples therapy, relationship counselling, and marriage counselling will advocate better communication between couples.

They will help highlight the importance of effective communication, such as; active listening and emphatic listening.

It is also important to be aware of the potential damage that can come about from poor communication.

Couples therapy should include some work on how to speak to each other, using positive language that is both understanding, and supportive.

Aspect 5.  Highlighting a relationship’s positives and strengths

Generally speaking, with any type of relationship counselling, there will be considerable focus on the negatives of the relationship.  After all, that is the reason for attending in the first place.

Couples therapy and marriage counselling should also encourage individuals to define their strengths along with all that is good within their relationship.  This can often form a foundation from which to move forward and will help the couple to build resilience from a positive aspect.

This exercise will enable the couple to have the space to remember why they chose to be together and to regain a sense of enjoyment, that was once shared between them.

As people progress with couples therapy, there tends to be a natural growth towards romantic gestures for one another.  Something as basic as recalling and sharing memories may trigger forgotten feelings of excitement and passion.

Because a relationship is in trouble, that doesn’t mean it’s not going to last, it just means that certain things need to be learned and certain things need to be taught.

The main thing to remember is this; couples therapy and relationship counselling will almost certainly work, as long as you both want it to.  The sooner you act, the greater chance you have of saving a relationship.

Whatever issues you’re facing, seeking the help of couples therapy is a positive step.

To make an appointment with our relationship counsellor, call us now or book online.

We offer couples therapy via online as well as in person, by visiting us at our Harley Street clinic.

PROFESSIONAL ACCREDITATIONS